my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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