New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize