Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
