In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
