If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
