Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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