My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
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