Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
