Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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