Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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