All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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