hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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