He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
