I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dicks are not precious.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
