she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
