This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
