marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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