at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize