You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
