Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
