He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
