It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my shit smells like andre
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
