2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
