You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
