After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i dont even know how to be here
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
