i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
