Yo dont text me then not text me
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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