the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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