Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
