We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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