who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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