He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
