The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
