so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
