he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
