I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
