i don't like sucking hair
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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