We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
