Buhtt sex?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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