i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
