i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
