After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
