before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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