yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize