He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i love accidental penises.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
