i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
