I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
