we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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