so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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