My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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