i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
