I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am available for nakedness
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
