handjob tips. give me some.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
my poor anus
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
