You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
They took my balls.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize