i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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