I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
