I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
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