Pappa wants mamma naked
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Farmville is her only friend.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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