i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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