Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
