im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
only you would photoshop your dick
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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